People Hearing Without Listening
It was true in 1964 when Simon & Garfunkel released their song, ‘The Sound of Silence’, and it is true today. People are hearing without listening.
It’s part of what holds us back from achieving deeper relationships, healthier connections, and more joy. Hearing is like knowing about the part of the iceberg that is visible. Listening is knowing about the 90% of the iceberg that is below the surface.
Not listening is part of the reason that most of the 34% of kids who are sexually abused by age 18, never tell.
Or do they?
Maybe kids are trying to tell us about what’s going on, but, you know, people hearing without listening…
Over the past 15 years I have had the opportunity to become a highly trained listener. I’ve spent dozens of hours training to listen as a peer counsellor. I’ve spent dozens of hours training to listen as a facilitator. I’ve spent dozens and dozens of hours training to listen to body language and nervous system responses in a trauma recovery context.
If you are a highly trained listener, then you will probably agree with me when I say that we all have room for improvement.
This is the beginning of a series of posts that are going to discuss some of the finer details of high quality listening.
If you are already a trained listener, I hope you will be affirmed and reminded of how powerful it is to listen. And, I invite you to share your insights with us so that we can improve this series. Send us an email, or schedule an appointment so that you can contribute your wisdom.
If you are curious about deepening your listening skills, I hope you will find some support from these posts.
I am passionate about listening to kids. I see and hear from kids whose greatest challenge is that they don’t have enough people in their lives who will just listen. This can result in needless and unnecessary suffering.
My teen offered these words of advice,
“stop giving your opinion, and just listen”.
Pretty smart if you ask me.
Through this Listening Series, I’ll share some powerful stories about how the simple act of listening has been transformative and healing.
I’ll share some tips and tricks I’ve learned that have helped me become a better listener.
I’ll start by this series by listening to you.
Will you contribute to our Listening Series by answering this question?
What training/course/book/experience has helped you better understand the art of listening and what impact has it had in your life?
I’d like to be able to share your answers, themes and resources in the Listening Series, but I won’t share personal information like names and locations.
I look forward to hearing and listening to what you have to say about listening.
LISTENING RESOURCE - Click on the image below to view and download our 'Listening Cheat Sheet' based on Dr. Thomas Gordon’s 12 Roadblocks. We’ll discuss them more in the Listening Series.
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